This Feeling I Have Right Now...

As I sit here typing this entry, I feel really depressed. I want to get out and be surrounded by friends and love so badly, but because of not being that kind of person in the past, I'm finding it difficult to force myself to go for it and see past my social anxiety. My main problem is I don't want to look needy for friends or look stupid for doing something at a social event because I have no experience. Social anxiety is taking a toll on my life because I now hate the way I live but don't possess the power to make change.