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Sunday, December 19, 2010
Today Was My Birthday Celebration:
I got a phone call from my aunt and I have to say, it made my year. My self-confidence gets really low at times and peaks at others, but rarely does someone praise me quite like my aunt did today. She told me that I have all the doors open in front of me and that I have my whole life ahead of me. She said she was confident that I would do well in life and that I always show respect to my family, even though sometimes they may not deserve it for one reason or another.
It really shocked me, after the call, when I realized that my own family never praises me for what I do. Yet, my aunt whom I only see once or twice a year, gave me full emotional support. Its funny how family seems to pay no attention to the good you do in life, but somehow emphasizes the negative things until they seem so big they will eat you alive.
It really shocked me, after the call, when I realized that my own family never praises me for what I do. Yet, my aunt whom I only see once or twice a year, gave me full emotional support. Its funny how family seems to pay no attention to the good you do in life, but somehow emphasizes the negative things until they seem so big they will eat you alive.
Winter Break Is Almost Here:
Winter Break starts in a few day and I don't want to be left out of the social circle. However, I have come the realization that I feel this way every year and the social circle always closes without me. I have no friends, so what am I to do? I have never been the socially active guy and have no idea how to change into the guy that is. I crave it and have the ability to do it, but how?
This Feeling I Have Right Now...
As I sit here typing this entry, I feel really depressed. I want to get out and be surrounded by friends and love so badly, but because of not being that kind of person in the past, I'm finding it difficult to force myself to go for it and see past my social anxiety. My main problem is I don't want to look needy for friends or look stupid for doing something at a social event because I have no experience. Social anxiety is taking a toll on my life because I now hate the way I live but don't possess the power to make change.
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